December 2011
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I'm feeling sappy.
GOSH. The year has ended already? I can hardly believe it at all. I’m startled but I’m so happy.
I’m going to make a Vlog about my year at some point but for now allow me to just say. WOW.
I never dreamed my life would have come this far in a tiny single little year. I’ve done so many things I had never DREAMED of doing, I have experienced every emotion under the sun. I...
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Dillons Christmas gift arrived today!
He was surprised! Also he liked it a lot. So I’m really happy. I did pretty damn well this year. I thought he might be hard to shop for since I’m not used to dating people who actually take pride in their appearance. (My exes tend to dress like 30 year old scene kids. It’s not pretty.) So I loved that it was a challenge.
He leaves Jan. 23rd for boot camp and I’m torn...
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Christmas
The holidays always become less fun when you get older but I enjoyed my Christmas oodles.
Dillon got me tights & my absolute favorite perfume Marc Jacobs Daisy. Mmmm So so so good, I couldn’t be happier. His mom (who is just amazing) made me an apron out of vintage cloth & lace. So Cute!
Christmas Eve was pretty lovely. Jake, Selena, Sarah & I all had “drunksmas...
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Sabotage
I can’t accept happiness. Hardest part of my recovery is accepting sometimes it’s okay to be happy. Sometimes it’s okay to have needs and wants and it’s okay to feel down. It’s okay to feel fear.
Sadly my only reaction is to flee. Run as far as possible from these things. Leave everyone behind. Push them away.
I’m trying trying to be strong.
But gosh am I...
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I haven’t been this happy in awhile.